The Democratic Primary Derby ~ Installment 2

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I view the following candidates as serious contenders for the Democratic presidential nomination, not because they’re quality people — they’re not — but because fate has elevated them into the public spotlight.  You might say they are accidents of history.

Joe Biden.  One-percent Joe has a real shot at the Democratic nomination, for no other reason than because he was Obama’s stooge for eight years.  He’s such a clown, however, that time is against him; i.e., the more he’s in front of the cameras, the more he will screw up and the more support he will lose.  Trump would have a field day with Joe’s gaffes, but whether Biden will even make it to the general election is questionable.

Michael Bloomberg.  Nanny Bloomberg is America’s version of Napoleon, but he’s far more dangerous than was the famous French emperor.  He’s a self-righteous little varmint who seems intent on using his 50-billion-dollar fortune to dictate to others how they should live their lives.

Like all his Dirty Dem cohorts, he’s willing to say anything to get attention.  He demonstrated that in his speech at Saint Anselm College when he ludicrously said about President Trump, “He failed at business, and now I think it’s fair to say he is failing at government.”  This kind of “don’t believe your lying eyes and ears” stuff is sure to backfire on Bloomberg if he runs, because it’s insulting to all halfway intelligent voters.

Bernie Sanders.  Let me make it clear that I have a soft spot for Uncle Bernie.  He’s a character right out of the movie Reds — a red-diaper baby who honeymooned in his beloved Soviet Union.  I doubt he can win the Democratic nomination — and certainly not the presidency — but this time around I expect him and his rabid supporters to be out for blood now that they realize Horrible Hillary and the Dirty Dems screwed them out of the 2016 nomination.

That’s right, no more stupid comments like “The American people are sick and tired of hearing about your damn emails.”  Uncle Bernie and his Radical Left supporters are wiser and much madder now, and they might just tear the Democratic Party apart this time around if the Dirty Dems’ shenanigans start up again — which they will.  Go Bernie, go!

“Beto” O’Rourke.  Beto is perhaps the biggest joker of all in a field saturated with jokers.  But remember, many jokers have actually become president, Jimmy Carter being the best example of that.  Beto’s credentials are paper thin, so he relies on gimmicks like putting his teeth-cleaning appointments on Instagram and coming on stage at his rallies on a skateboard.

He’s become something of a fad with the Dirty Dems, but over the long haul I expect him to outcool himself with his childish, attention-getting behavior.  Democratic voters are attracted to clowns, but ultimately even they are likely to grow weary of Beto’s middle-school antics.

Howard Schultz.  Schultz is the wildcard in the Democratic presidential race.  He’s threatening to run as a “centrist independent,” which has the Dirty Dems up in arms.  Like many billionaires, Schultz has long been a guilt-ridden liberal who has instituted some of the most hairbrained schemes imaginable for his Starbucks stores, two of the most embarrassing being his “Race Together” and open-bathrooms projects that made him look like a naïve fool.

Now, the capitalist compartment of Schultz’s brain has started to emerge, and he says he is dismayed by the Democrats’ radical ideas, especially their push for socialism.  He says he is also concerned about the national debt and the idea of free, universal healthcare.  This, of course, has infuriated most of the Democratic Party, even though Schultz is still quite liberal on social issues.

Clearly, the Dirty Dems have a problem if Schultz decides to throw his hat in the ring.  If he runs as an independent, he could, along with Uncle Bernie, succeed in destroying what’s left of the Democratic Party.  However, if it actually got to that point, and if the polls showed him doing well, I believe the Democrats might have to eat crow and make a deal with him.  They might have no choice but to give him the Democratic nomination in exchange for his promise to adopt a majority of their radical platform.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.  First, we have to see if Schultz actually has the courage to declare his candidacy or if he allows the Dirty Dems to scare him off.

The next installment (update) of the Dirty Dem primary candidates will be when I have something significant to share with you.  Stay tuned.  

CLICK HERE TO READ INSTALLMENT 1.

Copyright © 2019 Robert Ringer

ROBERT RINGER is a New York Times #1 bestselling author who has appeared on numerous national radio and television shows, including The Tonight Show, Today, The Dennis Miller Show, Good Morning America, ABC Nightline, The Charlie Rose Show, as well as Fox News and Fox Business. To sign up for a free subscription to his mind-expanding daily insights, visit www.robertringer.com.