As a policy wonk, I wish people would get excited about my columns about topics such as “tax depreciation” and “trade data” and my missives about issues such as “budget concepts” and “cost-benefit analysis.”
Instead, I notice that my humor-oriented columns generate a lot more traffic, which is somewhat humbling since I’m not contributing anything. All I’m doing is sharing items that have appeared in my inbox or that I’ve seen on social media.
With that grudging confession out of the way, time for another edition of politically-themed coronavirus satire.
For what it’s worth, this meme first showed up on this site back in 2012.
Next, a satire site from Ireland reminds us about the real heroes of the coronavirus.
Dublin clamper Joseph Culleton will not hear any talk of him being labeled a ‘hero’. …“Honestly, we’re just doing our bit. Actually, I’m kind of embarrassed by all the praise we’re getting, it’s the nurses and doctors who are the real heroes,” confirmed Culleton as he clamped a nurse’s car. …the eagle eyed clamper…admitted to having a tear in his eye when reading news reports that children in their thousands, inspired by the selfless work by front line workers, want to become clampers when they’re older.
Sounds like he belongs in the Bureaucrat Hall of Fame!
Let’s now travel to Sesame Street to see how the goal posts have been moved.
A very helpful message from Count von Count, but it doesn’t change my mind about eliminating his taxpayer subsidies.
Next, we have a contribution from Babylon Bee, America’s best satire site.
When the lockdowns started and stay-at-home orders were issued, the Bill of Rights was taken out of the National Archives and put somewhere for safekeeping since it wasn’t really needed at the time and no one wanted it to get damaged. Now that states are starting to open things up again, no one can seem to find it. “It’s probably under a couch or something,” said President Trump. “We’ll find it eventually.” …Now that it has been lost, many are unsure what to do, though some think we can make do without it. “I think most of us remember what was in it,” said Senator Bernie Sanders. “There was stuff about health care and not letting anyone have way more money than you.”
By the way, the quote from Crazy Bernie is only partly satirical. Some folks on the left genuinely want to create a “right” to other people’s money.
This image is real life, so truth is stranger than fiction.
This next image is satire, of course, but it makes a very real point about how safety concerns can be taken too far.
One state governor is enjoying universal acclaim after unveiling his own innovative plan for getting his state reopened. The new plan is called ‘Our Vision for Health, Safety, Virtue, and Eternal Peace’ and is a 37-step, 10-year plan for slowly opening up sections of the state economy. It reads as follows:
- Form an exploratory committee to consult various experts on reopening things
- Create a panel of experts to explore the recommendations recommended by the exploratory committee
- Build a brand new website to post exploratory committee recommendations for public comment
- Take away all the guns
- Announce a 12-phase reopening of the economy, starting with the businesses with the best lobbyists
- Form a new committee to review the effectiveness of Phase 1 before moving on to Phase 2
- Order drones from China and post them in front of every hair salon
- Draft legislation allowing people to eat squirrels and possums
- Strengthen the security of governors mansion with sniper towers and tiger pits
- (Super-secret surprise to be determined later)
- Open the rest of the economy
Other states have announced they will wait 10-15 years to judge the effectiveness of this 37 part plan before releasing their own plans. The only exception is Texas, whose governor simply said, “We’re open, y’all!”
This tweet won’t be funny to readers who like Trump.
We'll reopen the economy and let you try to earn money again when:— Razor (@hale_razor) April 22, 2020
w̶e̶ ̶f̶l̶a̶t̶t̶e̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶u̶r̶v̶e̶
w̷e̷ ̷i̷n̷c̷r̷e̷a̷s̷e̷ ̷t̷e̷s̷t̷i̷n̷g̷
w̶e̶ ̶f̶i̶n̶d̶ ̶a̶ ̶v̶a̶c̶c̶i̶n̶e̶
n̴o̴ ̴o̴n̴e̴ ̴i̴s̴ ̴s̴i̴c̴k̴
the election is over and you welcome our new green socialist utopia
Following tradition, I’ve saved the best for last.
Daniel J. Mitchell is a public policy economist in Washington. He’s been a Senior Fellow at the Cato Institute, a Senior Fellow at the Heritage Foundation, an economist for Senator Bob Packwood and the Senate Finance Committee, and a Director of Tax and Budget Policy at Citizens for a Sound Economy. His articles can be found in such publications as the Wall Street Journal, New York Times, Investor’s Business Daily, and Washington Times. Mitchell holds bachelor’s and master’s degrees in economics from the University of Georgia and a Ph.D. in economics from George Mason University. Original article can be viewed here.
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