EPA wants us to take “submarine” showers

As we’ve been warning you, the government is hell-bent on monitoring your every move and controlling every activity.

Moving on from the smart meter we now have: shower stall snoops! Have you seen that California Governor Jerry Brown is proposing a $500 fine for Golden Staters who take too long in the shower?!

ShowerheadNot only does the EPA want to tell you how to grill, it also wants to tell you how to shower. The agency has awarded a $15,000 grant to the University of Tulsa to develop a wireless system that would monitor individual guest water usage at hotels with the goal of getting guests to “modify their behavior”:

“Hotels consume a significant amount of water in the U.S. and around the world,” an EPA grant to the University of Tulsa reads. “Most hotels do not monitor individual guest water usage and as a result, millions of gallons of potable water are wasted every year by hotel guests.”

“The proposed work aims to develop a novel low cost wireless device for monitoring water use from hotel guest room showers,” it said. “This device will be designed to fit most new and existing hotel shower fixtures and will wirelessly transmit hotel guest water usage data to a central hotel accounting system.”

The average shower lasts eight minutes and uses 18 gallons of water. The EPA wants Americans to reduce their shower time by at least one minute. Next thing you know they’ll require that everyone only takes “submarine showers”:

“The method requires three steps: 1) turn on water to rinse body and hair; 2) turn off water while shampooing hair and washing body with soap and washcloth; 3) resume water flow and rinse off all shampoo and soap,” the group said. “Using this technique, the total duration of water flow can easily be reduced to 5 minutes or less.”

That sure sounds relaxing.