Some Labor Day Jokes (They’re terrible) – And John Oliver

Labor Day celebrates the contribution of workers to our economy. We celebrate it by not working. So here are a few gags.

Why do giraffes make bad bosses?… Because they can’t see eye-to-eye with their employees.

My wife came home from work yesterday and was raging about her boss. She said to me, “I’m never going to work for that man again!”.

I asked her, “Why, what did he say to you?”

She said, “You’re fired.”

“If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end… it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.” ~ Doug Larson

I’m going to spend Labor Day putting my liver to work.

If a train station is where the train stops, and a bus station is where the bus stops, what is a work station?

Why didn’t Jason wear his hockey mask for Halloween?

Because you don’t wear white after Labor Day.

Did you hear about the Labor Day joke? It doesn’t work for me.

The best way to celebrate Labor Day is by filing for unemployment.

The Story of Creation as told by Dog

On the first day of creation, God created the dog.

On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.

On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the horse) to serve as potential food for the dog.

On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the dog.

On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might not retrieve it.

On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy, and the man broke.

On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog.

“Labor Day is a glorious holiday because your child will be going back to school the next day. It would have been called Independence Day, but that name was already taken.” Bill Dodds 

Why did the man leave his job at the donut shop? He easily got exhausted of the hole concept.

Why did the tailor leave his job? He felt de-pleated at the end of each day.

Why did a boy not end up being a barber? He tried to, but he just didn’t make the cut.

What did the pilot say when he hadn’t studied for his big airlines exam? I’m just going to wing it.

7Why did the young girl resign from her job at the Velcro factory? She tried very hard, but in the end, she couldn’t stick with it.